Saturday, December 31, 2011

Day 9

Cynthia woke up the next morning around 10:15. Stretching in bed she found it empty and blinked her eyes open finding a single rose on the pillow next to her. Smiling she sat up and leaned back against the deep mahogany headboard behind her. She yawned as she looked over at the clock, surprised to see the time. She had gotten nearly twelve hours of sleep but she was strangely tired. Not the terrifying fatigue and weakness she felt the day earlier, so she wasn’t concerned. She felt more like she hadn’t slept at all, and checked the clock again. Her throat was sore, and knowing it wasn’t that way when she went to bed ran her hand over her neck even though she knew it couldn’t possible soothe her throat. Confused she got up and made her way to the bathroom and took a quick shower, hoping to wake herself up. She changed for the day and grabbed her rose as she went downstairs looking for Richie.

Richie sat at the piano trying to put chords together to get this melody out of his head. Again and again her brought his fingers over the keys and scribbled in a notebook resting on top. He knew why this chorus was getting him nowhere. He was distracted. Half of him was working through the song, these lyrics that had seem to come to him in the last week. When you’re young, you always think the sun is gonna shine. There comes a day you have to say hello to goodbye. Damn if he didn’t know that firsthand. I made mistakes and caught some breaks but I’ve got no regrets. There’s some things I don’t remember, but one thing I don’t forget. Live before you die. It’s catchy if nothing else, and he meant it. With the whirlwind that the last year had been to him, that’s how he should live. With her that’s how he was living. There was just something missing.

The other part of him was mulling over his morning. Beginning at 3:30. That’s when he gave in and looked at the clock at least. It was a good half hour before that, that he was woken by Cynthia, unintentionally of course. She was coughing, a cough that sounded eerily familiar to his father’s final days. Shaking the thought out of his head he had stayed up with her, rubbing her back and coaxing her back to a sounder sleep. He didn’t think she had woken fully, because she didn’t respond to him completely. Just a murmur in her sleep or a moan as she curled into him. She finally settled back into a sound, quiet sleep around 7:15 when Richie finally got out of bed hoping to doze on the couch for an hour or so. His head had other ideas, spinning with worse case scenarios. She was really sick yesterday morning and now this cough, it doesn’t sound good. What if I’m getting sick, Jon’s coming out in a week and a half with the guys to try to record, he’ll have my ass if I’m sick. You asshole, you’re not even sick yet. Richie had paced a hole in the kitchen floor before he picked up the phone a little after 8:30 and called the doctor that they had on tour to come out later that day to check her. “I’m sure I’m overreacting, Phil, but something just seems off with this. I really appreciate it,” he had told the doctor. He was assured it was no problem and they planned to meet a little after noon. After he hung up and grabbed a much needed cup of coffee, he had retreated to his great room where he had been left alone with his mismatched song and a wave of distraction and frustration.

Richie had been lost in his thoughts when he heard her footsteps on the stairs. “I’m in here Cyn,” he yelled as he tapped on the keys. She appeared with a sleepy smile a minute later. “There’s teabags above the coffee maker and there’s honey in the pantry for your throat.”

“How,” she asked confused with a deep rasp to her voice.

“You were up all night coughing baby, your throat must be raw. I was gonna bring you up some tea in a little while anyway.”

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t even notice, that must be why I’m tired,” she rambled.

“Baby, it’s ok. Phil will be out around noon to take a look at you,” he smiled.

“Who? Phil, who’s Phil?”

“Our doctor on tour, one of them anyway. Jon’s ass is so old he travels with nearly an entire hospital. Phil lives about 20 minutes from here. I of course am in prime condition,” he grinned.

“What a doctor? I told you I was fine, probably just some bug I got on the plane,” she panicked.

“It’s ok,” he said pulling her on the bench next to him. “I just want to make sure you’re just as perfect as the day you picked me up at the bar. Phil is a great guy and I’ll stay with you the whole time.”

“I’m fine, I promise,” she pleaded.

“If you are then I can just feel like a hovering, worrying ass that Ava always tells me I am,” he said giving her a smile. “Besides if it’s just a cold or something he can give you something to speed it along or for the cough at least.”

Knowing she couldn’t win, Cynthia resigned and gave a mumbled, “Fine,” and a nod, which Richie took as a battle won, rather than surrendered. Richie stood and dragged her up with him and settled her in the kitchen while he made her a fresh cup of tea with honey, and Cynthia accepted it gratefully. Richie grabbed a carton of eggs from the refrigerator with loaf of bread, pack of cheese and carton of orange juice. Making his way to the pantry he pulled out potatoes and went to work making them a late morning breakfast. Richie sat next to her as they ate quietly as he watched the hoards of people on the beach and she desperately thought of an escape plan.

Cynthia pushed the food around on her plate for a little while as she ate. “Maybe after we finish we can go out in the sun for a while,” she said hopefully.

“As soon as Phil gives you the all clear and he should be here any-,” he started before he was cut off by the door bell. “Speak of the devil I’ll let him in,” he said kissing Cynthia’s head and walked to the front door.

The two men spoke for a few minutes in the foyer before they walked into the kitchen laughing. Cynthia looked up at the noise and saw Richie laughing with his arm around an older man carrying a black bag. Taking a deep breath she got up and walked over to the pair.

“And here is the lovely woman I’ve been talking about,” Richie beamed.

“Nice to meet you Ms,” he started looking at Richie who stammered as he thought.

“Fischer,” Cynthia interjected. “Cynthia please. And you’re a real life Dr. Phil?”

“Just Phil,” he laughed. “That’s the first time I think I’ve ever gotten that,” he smiled. “Where to Rich?”

“The living room is fine,” he started.

“Actually you have a text from Jon so why don’t you answer him before he gets cranky and I’ll just head up to one of the bedrooms,” Cynthia said hopefully.

“Are you sure, he can wait.”

“We tried that once and he didn’t like it too much. Go on see what the rock star wants and I’ll be back in a few minutes,” she said kissing his cheek.

“Only if you’re sure,” he said watching her.

“Positive,” she said forcing a smile. “Right upstairs Dr. Phil,” she said walking by him. “Boy those are words I wasn’t planning on saying this week,” she said leading them upstairs to one of the empty guest room with Phil following close behind.

“So Cynthia Richie told me you have quite a cough and you’ve been tired,” Phil started as Cynthia closed the door behind them.

“Stop,” Cynthia said looking up at him. “I don’t think there’s any way that I’m going to be able to get you to go and leave this alone is there?”

“Well I-“

“You’re already here, you might as well take a look, listen, whatever,” she said taking a deep breath. “From this minute on you are my doctor and I am your patient therefore evoking my privacy from doctor-patient confidentiality, is that correct.”

“Yes ma’am but I-“

“Which means anything I say from here on out you cannot disclose to anyone, right,” she asked.

“Right,” he nodded. “So are you experiencing any other sympt-“

“I want your word that what happens in this room will never leave it,” she said looking him in the eye.

“You have my word,” he said confused.

“Two and a half years ago I was diagnosed with Stage 3 lung cancer. I went through all the treatments, chemo, hence the hair, radiation,” she said slipping off her shirt. “See the scars from the burns. For the longest time my arms looked like I was a junkie from the IV’s. This is the scar from where my PICC line was. It was hell and I almost died. After a year I was given a clean bill of health. About two weeks ago I flew in to have my yearly screaning, I didn’t worry since everything was clean at the six month. It’s back worse than the first time, I wasn’t in pain I had no idea the doctor looked at me and told me I was certainly going to die. I had options; live through hell so I could prolong it for a few months. I chose to live my life and not the life that cancer and treatment would limit me to. I’m not in denial I know I have maybe a good two weeks before it takes over my body and I’m reduced to a weak and pained shell of who I am now, that’s begging for relief and I become incoherent. I’m not here to hurt Richie or use him, we met unexpectedly and this whirlwind of a two week relationship has been amazing for me and perhaps that is a bit selfish. I don’t want to tell him because I don’t want him to feel obligated with me, we’re not getting serious this is a casual thing. Now if you could just say that you examined me, which you have, and that you don’t see any reason why I can’t do whatever I feel up to and it won’t be a problem. Because I don’t think you will deny a dying woman a walk on the beach or a swim in the ocean. I am responsible and I know what my limits are and I have no intention of pushing myself and further shortening my life. I am in no way trying to put you in an unethical situation, if you would like to examine me you are more than welcome, but I don’t think my diagnosis has changed in the last two weeks. It has progressed perhaps but it hasn’t changed. Now for Richie’s sake, does this sound like something that you can agree to,” she asked without missing a beat.

Phil looked at her in shock for a minute as he tried to process how a seemingly healthy woman could be so close to death. After thinking through her request he nodded. “Get dressed I’ll tell Richie.”

“Really,” she asked surprised.

“You made a compelling argument, but please call me if you get any worse,” he asked.

“I will get worse but hopefully I can hold it together another five days and then I’ll leave and he’ll be none the wiser and I’ll die in peace.”

“This is my card, if you need anything please call me,” he said handing her a card.

“Sure,” she said taking it and slid it in her pocket. “I know you don’t know me from anyone, I do appreciate this,” she said sliding her shirt back on.

“Let’s go before I change my mind,” he said opening the door.

“Thank you,” Cynthia said locking eyes with him before she made her way downstairs. “Richie,” she called.

“In here baby,” Richie called from the living room as he hung up with Jon.

“Everything ok with Jon,” she asked with a smile as she walked in.

“Perfect. Phil,” he asked looking past her.

“I don’t see why the two of you can’t do whatever you had planned. Try to keep it low key,” Phil answered.

“Are you sure, it was one hell of cough,” he said warily.

“How many times have you come to me with a hacking cough and a little tea and a good night sleep cure it,” he asked. “Let’s not forget that you insist on going out and singing for three hours doing god knows what kind of harm.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks for coming out anyway, Phil,” he said getting up.

“Not a problem, call me if you need anything, I can see myself out,” Phil answered.

“You got it,” Richie smiled pulling Cynthia close and Phil left.

“See, I told you I was fine,” Cynthia said leaning into his chest.

“That you did,” he said kissing her head.

“So, I’m thinking we get a sailboat and go be lazy in the ocean,” she smiled.

“Oh yeah,” he asked surprised.

“Unless the Jersey boy is afraid of boats,” she challenged.

“Oh you know that’s just asking for trouble. Go put on something sexy,” he said swatting her butt.

“Oh if you insist,” she laughed going upstairs and changing.

Richie made a few phone calls arranging a boat for the afternoon before he headed upstairs and smiled at Cynthia when he saw her. “Well you certainly did change into something sexy,” he said with a mischievous grin.

“Well, Mr. Rock Star, you wish is my command,” she giggled.

“I’m gonna take a quick shower and change, we have a boat down at the pier in 30 minutes,” he said pulling his shirt off.

“You just love to work your magic,” she smiled. “I’m gonna pack us a bag,” she said kissing his cheek. “Don’t be long,” she called heading downstairs.

Richie smiled to himself as he quickly showered and changed. He made his way downstairs seeing Cynthia waiting on the patio with a black sarong tied around her waist. He smiled as he made his way outside and wrapped his arm around her.

“Ready to go sailing my dear,” he asked leading her off the deck.

“As long as Captain Rich isn’t chicken anymore,” she teased.

“Not a bit, besides if I was it looks like you packed the world in that Mary Poppins bag,” he said looking at the bag over her arm.

“Well there’s towels and food and suntan lotion and a camera. It just looks like a lot,” she shrugged. “Gonna tell me how in 20 minutes you just happened to arrange for a boat? Secret connections?”

“Not if I told you all my secrets, what fun would that be,” he laughed.

“Yeah, yeah. Is this us,” she asked looking up at a boat rental.

“Looks right to me,” he said looking down the docks. “Yup this is the place,” he smiled pulling her down. He spoke to the attendant for a minute before they were lead down to a large boat at the end of the dock. “Ready,” he asked offering her his hand.

“Absolutely,” she said with a small giggle as she made her way on board. Richie followed her on and sat next to her holding her close as they made their way out to sea before they stopped. “This is like heaven,” she smiled laying their towels out.

“It’s nice out here. Quiet no press,” he said helping her.

“Yeah that damn press is always up my ass,” she teased sitting on her towel.

“I know, can’t take you anywhere,” he said sitting next to her and pulled her close.

“Occupation hazard of the unemployed world traveler,” she sighed leaned against his chest.

Richie wrapped his arms around her and let his hand trail over the scars on her chest. “Baby?”

“Hmm,” she said closing her eyes.

“Since were out on the heavenly ocean do you wanna talk?”

“Sure, about what,” she asked resting her head on his shoulder.

“Maybe you wanna tell me what happened. Here,” he said running his hand over the mark.

Cynthia took a deep breath. “You’re not gonna let this go are you,” she asked turning to look at him.

“I just want to know more about who you are, and this seems to be a part of you and-“

“Stop, if you want to know I will tell you. Not today, not tomorrow, after our two weeks are done. Promise,” she said looking up at him. And by that time I should be long gone, she thought to herself.

“Ok baby,” he said running his hand over her cheek.

“So, I’m not about to let you arms give me funky tan lines,” she said moving to her own towel. Smirking she untied her top and dropped it in his lap as she laid in her stomach. “In fact I don’t want any tan lines.”

“You are suck a tease,” he said watching her.

“Yeah, you’ve said that before,” she smiled as she turned her head away from him. Richie watched her for a few minutes before lying out next to her.

The spent the rest of the day on the water, coming back shortly after watching the sunset. Walking back up the beach to the house, they made their way inside and upstairs taking a quick shower to get the sea air from their skin. Cynthia pulled on one of his tee shirts as Richie pulled on a pair of swear pants and they settled on the couch with leftover take out. Cynthia fell asleep halfway through the movie they were watching and Richie carried her to bed when it was done. Holding her close her rubbed her back as he fell asleep, hoping for a quieter night.